A month later

I suppose that this time passing and everyday being a microthin film that layers over events and tragedies and joys is normal. Either that or its some kind of ruse that we all subscribe to. I can't understand time. I get these impulses to call my mom or share something with her to cheer her up. Just because its July now and not May or last October means that she's gone and that tomorrow is another day further from her last. Thanks to all for the comments about my mom and her life. I think about her everyday and most miss her infectious laughter, so ready to burst out uncontrollably with racuous tears, red face and aching sides.

Last post.

This will be the last post for this blog.

Cindy,my wife for thirty seven years passed on this morning after fighting glioblastoma multiforme stage IV.She went while in a coma.
If you do not have insurance you are very limited as to how you can prolong your life with GBM.
Cindy had insurance,and it covered hundreds of thousands of dollars for fourteen months of uncertainty.The only other option is letting it run it's course while you get your life in order.
Texas did have promise as I wrote earlier.Some things still need to be done there,like refunds
for equipment I sent back.
Live your life one day at a time,do not stress too much that you will die if you have GBM.Grim,yes,hopeless in the long run,yes.However,you have family and friends that love you,they will be with you to the end,love them back.Good luck.It is a very lonely path,driving to cancer centers grasping at straws,searching for hope from anywhere.
Greg Harris

No mas.

Treatments for terminal cancer leave something to be desired.So no mas.Sticking with natural treatments,compassionate aid on the horizon,no need to wonder why.You can only deal with so much,then you just say,no mas.Scary,yes,unsure,no,better to have dignity when passing over,then not being able to think,or move.Thats where we are.
Greg

Houston trip.

We went to Houston for treatment three weeks ago,and stayed for two weeks.The Burzynski clinic seems to be the only clinic with real hope for glioblastoma multiforme.The treatments however, were just too much to deal with.Unsatisfiable thirst from the salt content,and always having to use the restroom at all hours.Because of the need to go from the treatment,there wasn't much sleep.
I feel that the treatments would work if one can get pass the need to pee all the time.
Now it looks like paw paw will get a chance.
Gas in Houston at one location was $1.64 for regular,food was less,and there is construction going on everywhere,what economic problem?
Summer weather in Oregon is still four months off.It felt good to visit Oregon summer weather in March.
If you have gliobastoma multiforme,the Burzynski clinic has an answer.
Greg

Settle down there, stomach!

Whoa! I have been a living experiment of ways in which to how the immune system works. Blow it out the nose, poop it out, or burn it out in a firestorm of fever. I finally succumbed to pharmaceuticals, and got some ciproflaxin. I think I might have dysentery, I may be inflating my health issues, but it´s a bit exciting to move beyond mere traveler´s diarrhea to cramps and fever. So unfortunately, this last week or so has mostly been trying to rest and eat. I have had a few adventures and misadventures, but even on scaled-down days there is always some Peruvian who wants to chat or shoot pool or something. I am still in Huaraz, sort of wanting to move on and just see more and also not wanting to lost my acclimatization. Thus, I remain at the edge of the mountains, looking at them wistfully, so close yet so large and brutal. The plan for the week is to do a trek around Alpamayo, starting on Friday and should be gone for a good 6 days or so. It is supposed to be one of the world´s most beautiful peaks. Blogging is odd and I think I´ve reached the self-conscious stage of this post so I´ll sign off...

What the @#${??!!??

Nooooo.....I can't believe it the Cubs are out! What happened? I leave the country for a little while and oy, what a let down! Of course there's always the ol' misery and heartache lore for cub's fans to fall back on, i.e. that's what life is like for a cub's fan, shouldn't of gotten your hopes now, youngster.

Here's a hola from Peru: I am sitting in the chilly hostel typing away. Lima has been an abrupt experience, that may have arisen from the fact that I've been living in palookaville for the last few months and the intensity of the city seems otherworldly. There is so much noise, dust and commotion. If I gave the city more time, I'm sure there are places that I would love. Right now, it just seems hard, so tomorrow I am off to Huaraz an 8 hour bus ride north. I have had interesting times, spent yesterday being led around the city by a schoolteacher who talked non-stop. We had a lovely meal of baby goat! It was the leg I think and very delicious, it came with some flavorful white beans and a subtle but well flavored rice. I have been waging a battle with an infection and I think I may have won, floating along in a sea of constant hydration and very few public restrooms. I can't wait to see some natural beauty, the city has been shrouded in gray.

So Mom, keep me up-to-date, okay? I am counting on your blogs to know what is happening and if Dad wants to blog too that would be excellent.

And the home of the brave ...

Iv'e not been able to blog lately - the reason? Fear! I have come to the harsh but unavoidable conclusion that I am not a brave person - whew - thought I was, but no. I've always told myself "There are different kinds of courage - physical, moral, emotional ... okay so I don't like downhill skiing - doesn't mean I don't have other braveries!" But I fear (haha) that's not true. This disease is sooo fearsome that I often can't face talking, writing, thinking about it. I am so very grateful for those of you who, at those times, lend me some of your courage - my wonderful husband, daughter, steadfast friends (you know who you are beloved ones) and others of you who cheer me at work - perhaps unbeknownst to yourselves! I'm trying to figure out if one can learn bravery. I'm open to any and all tips! In its absence, I'll contnue to work on peace, compassion, and the power of now.